By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light
Article copyright Nancy Rynes
If Jacob’s story from last time feels all too familiar to you, then you have an opportunity to take charge of your life by shifting your inner dialogue.
I have quite a bit of experience with a runaway inner dialog. Before my near-death experience (NDE) and visit to the afterlife, my thoughts were anxious, fear-driven, and mostly negative. Most of the time they seemed like a runaway train that I couldn’t control. This negative self-talk continued unchecked for years. It colored how I saw myself (I didn’t have a very good opinion of myself), and it put a pall over I perceived the world looked to me. In my mind back then, the world was an unsafe place, filled with misery and pain.
The first step I took in getting my mind to work for me instead of against me was to to pay attention to my thoughts.
But first, a quiz. Don’t worry, I’m not going to grade it. Just write down what you see in the space below. Once you’ve noted what you see, scroll down.
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When I project this picture onscreen at my weekend retreats, people usually tell me that they see a black dot.
Is that what you saw?
Or did you instead see a large field of white space with a tiny little black dot at its center? While both interpretations describe the picture, which one is more accurate? And which one seems to come from a more positive frame of mind?
People who tend toward negative thinking tend to focus on that tiny little black dot at the expense of all of that white space surrounding it. What ends up happening is that the little black dot seems more important than it actually is.
The second description of a field of white space with a tiny little black dot at its center is the most accurate because it puts everything into perspective. Suddenly, the tiny little dot of darkness loses its importance when you consider that it really exists in a relatively large field of white space.
That tiny black dot in the much larger field of white is like the negativity you might be perceiving on a daily basis. The world is not filled to the brim with negative things. In fact it’s filled with a whole lotta love, light, and goodness. But if you focus on the few things that seem negative to the exclusion of all else, your mind gives those negative things much more importance than they actually deserve.
How can you reframe your perception to move more toward a more balanced, or even light-filled outlook? I’ll discuss this more later but here are a few of my favorite techniques:
1) Pay attention to your thoughts. This will take some practice but start with just a few minutes at a time. Set aside three minutes and write down every thought that runs through your brain, no matter how wacky they are. Or if you feel yourself getting down and depressed, take a few minutes to pay attention to the thoughts running through your brain. Then try the other opposite — when you are feeling happy and confident, pay attention to your thoughts too. How do your thoughts change throughout the day?
2) Practice shifting your thoughts. If you notice your thoughts drifting to negativity, try to shift that thought into something more positive.
3) Get yourself grounded in the now moment. Take a deep breath and ask: How am I right now? What am I really feeling in this moment?
4) Take a few minutes and feel gratitude. Write down or think about some things you are deeply grateful for, right now. Then allow yourself to truly feel the gratitude for these things drift through your body.
5) Be a Pollyanna. Remember the character Pollyanna from the books and movies? She went about her days expecting good things, looking for good things, and pointing out all that was good. You can do this too! Set your expectation to see the good in the world around you. When you wake up in the morning, start off your day by declaring “Something amazingly good is happening in my life today!” You could also search out good news on the internet and share it with others (try typing in “good news” in your favorite search engine). When you see a kind or gracious act, pause and allow yourself to feel grateful for seeing it. When you see evidence of love, smile and say a silent "Thanks." When you look for the good around you and come to expect it, seeing all of those good things becomes your new "normal" over time. You’re learning to focus on the field of white instead of the tiny little black dot.
6) Create a little good for someone else. Extending kindness to someone else can begin a cascade of love and compassion for yourself and those around you. If you're in line at the coffee shop, pay the bill for the person in line behind you. Leave a "Have a Beautiful Day" note in the middle of a library book for someone else to find. Bring flowers to an elderly neighbor, just because. Let's spread the good by being kind to others for no apparent reason :-)
Next, we’ll take this a step further and learn about negativity fasting.
As always, take care and many blessings to you,
Nancy
Disclaimer: If you have been diagnosed with a mental or physical health condition, or suspect you might have one, please check with your qualified, professional provider. You deserve specific treatment for your condition. Nancy Rynes is not a medical or psychological professional. In this series of articles, Nancy is sharing with you what her experiences have been and what has worked for her. If you choose to use any of this information in your life, which is your right, Nancy Rynes is not responsible.
Archive: Past Newsletter Issues
TODAY Show: Nancy's Interview on NBC TV's TODAY
Messages of Hope with Suzanne Giesemann: Exploring NDEs with Nancy Rynes
Article: Seven Lessons That Dying Taught Me About Truly Living (Aspire Magazine)
Article: Lives Changed by NDEs (Boulder Daily Camera)
Article: Awakening to Life(Pages 6-10, Journal of Exceptional Experiences and Psychology, Summer 2016)
Article: The Meaning of Life (Excellence Reporter)
Simply Peace Part 1
Simply Peace Part 2
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