Allowing Grief

By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light 
I know grief might be a strange thing to write about, especially coming from someone who has died and come back to tell the tale. But having an NDE doesn't mean that I don't feel loss, sadness, or grief when faced with significant life changes. I wasn't magically transformed into some ultra-spiritual guru who no longer has the need for human emotions. On the contrary, I feel and experience more deeply than I ever have in my life. The difference is that now I feel the feeling, allowing myself to experience it deeply, then I let it go.

Grief and loss are things that most of us will experience at least once in life, probably more. Losses don't just come from the death of someone we care about. We might grieve the ending of a relationship, selling a home that carries many lovely memories, losing a job, or giving up on a dream. Being spiritual or religious, or even having an NDE, doesn't change the fact that at times, we have to let go of what was and live with the way things are now.

It's A-OK to mourn these passages for in the mourning we allow the painful thoughts and feelings to flow through us and out. Trouble comes when we hold on to them. Not allowing grief to flow creates a spiritual and emotional bottleneck of energy. Being stoic or strong doesn't do us any good in the long run. When we cannot or will not feel through and release the pain, it grows inside of us like an ever-widening black hole. Unreleased grief can consume us to the point where it is difficult to function from a healthy mindset.

I only speak about this topic from my own experience. These past few months have come with many changes to my life. Some of those changes are good and some are not-so-great, but with all of them I remind myself that I am human and that it's OK to cry when I feel the loss of the way things were. Letting go of the "old" opens up my heart and soul for new people and events to come into my life. I might still miss what is gone but I'm no longer holding on to it when I allow the grief to wash through me.

Reaching out to friends can help. Hugs are a good thing. They may  not completely erase the pain but they can let you know that you are not alone and that someone else cares. Sometimes a good hug cures more thoroughly than the most expensive medical treatment. If someone you know is having a rough time of things, take the initiative and give him or her a big, friendly bear hug.

Remember, if things become too difficult or severely impact your daily life, seek help from a psychotherapist, counselor, or spiritual leader. Blessings and joy to all of you. Nancy

Posted by Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light ( )
All content copyright Nancy Rynes, 2015-2016
Bio: Nancy Rynes is a speaker, artist, and author of Awakenings from the Light (available from Nancy's books and workshops teach you how to bring a little bit of Heaven to your life on Earth. She lives near Boulder, Colorado. Check out her website: