By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light
All content copyright Nancy Rynes
See last week's article, here.
Your world will need your spiritual strength. Develop and maintain a practice of connecting with the divine, you're guides, with love, and with gratitude. It is only with your clarity of heart will this world prosper into the grand place we know it can be.
In business as well as in regular life, there is a general process to achieving a goal whether it’s developing a new smart phone app, or achieving personal goal like running a marathon.
You first have to know what you want to achieve. Then you have to take action toward your goal or vision. Along the way, you have to observe your progress and think about any changes you might want to make to your actions. If things aren’t working out in a way that is beneficial, make adjustments to the actions you’re taking. Continue working toward your goal through action. And celebrate achievements or milestones along the way.
1. Keep your sights on your goal/vision
2. Practice (take action)
3. Observe, Reflect, and Adjust
4. Continue your Practice
5. Have Fun and Celebrate Achievements
Unlike a building a house or creating a new mobile app, there really isn’t an obvious finish line to expanding your spirituality or creating an incredible life. It can always be more expansive, deeper. You will continue to develop yourself, to improve your skills, or achieve more peace and connection. You will note big achievements or milestones along the way, like finally being able to respectfully and gently say “No” when you just do not have the time to run yet another volunteer committee.
But I want to stress: this isn’t about the goal. This is about the process. Avoid getting too attached to a specific outcome or goal. In your heart, maintain the desire for more peace in your life, but avoid getting too attached to your vision of that. Leave some room in your life for an even bigger, better outcome to flow to you as a natural part of this process. Focus your attention on the process and let the outcome flow.
1) Your Goal
In order to achieve a more peaceful and soul-filled life, it’s helpful to have an idea of where you are now and what you want to create for yourself in the future so that you can hold that in your mind and heart as you move forward. It helps to have to have that goal incorporated into a vision of what you want your life to be like.
Think about an archer in a competition. You don’t blindfold her, turn her around a few times, then expect her to fire at random and hit a bullseye while still blindfolded. Instead, you take her blindfold off, allow her to focus on the target, and then shoot the arrow. That gives her the best opportunity to hit the bullseye.
You are a bit like that archer as you either continue on in your journey toward a more soul-filled life. It’s going to be a lot easier for you to achieve peace and presence in your life if you have an idea of what those look and feel like for you.
But again, having a vision for what you want to achieve doesn’t mean that you have to be rigidly attached to a specific outcome. Just keep a general sense of what you want to achieve in your mind and heart, but be open to something even better, more amazing, and more expansive than you can imagine.
What works best for most people is to have an idea of what you want to achieve, focus on what that would feel like, but be open to and accepting of the path as it comes.
If you didn’t at the start of the series, Take a few moments to contemplate your answers to these questions:[1]
1. What does the words “peace” and "joy" mean to you?
2. Do you have them now?
3. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most at peace or joy you have ever felt, rate your level of each right now.
4. What would your life be like if you achieved the peace and joy in your life that you desire?
5. Do you have an idea of how to get there?
6. What would your life look and feel like when you have the peace you desire
2) Practice / Take an Action
Once you have a general idea of what you want to achieve (for this series, a more soul-filled and peaceful life), it’s time to take action.
Start by reading through this series of articles. Along the way, make note some of the spiritual practices that pique your interest. Does one call out to you more than the others? Is there one that seems like it will help you get closer to your vision of what you want to create in your life? Or is there one that you’re resisting, or perhaps makes you feel just a bit uncomfortable, like it’s a stretch.
Pick one of these, then spend the next three to six weeks incorporating that one practice into your life. Learn how to do it. Practice it. Pay attention to how it feels, and what you notice when you do this. Observe and reflect as you go along…this is your choice. If something you’re trying just doesn’t feel right to you, stop it. You don’t have to wait 3 or more weeks. But if it feels helpful, or you can’t tell, give it at least three weeks.
My recommendation is to start slowly but be consistent. It’s better to try out one practice or method at a time, doing it consistently and with focus for a few weeks, rather than trying out ten different ones all at the same time. Adding one practice at a time to your day, and doing it daily for three to six weeks, will allow you to more easily evaluate what benefits it is bringing to your life. If you’re doing ten new practices at once, it’s almost impossible to tell if any one of them are helping you.[1]
After that initial trial period of three to six weeks, you’ll evaluate how it’s working for you through observation and reflection.
[1] If you’re dedicated in a monastery or ashram or other religious/spiritual institution (in study), then you will likely be asked to take on more than one new practice at a time. But this book is written for the general population who are living a “regular” life with a job, family, and activities.
3) Observe, Reflect, and Adjust
As you’re beginning to incorporate new practices, thoughts, and ideas into your life, every so often it helps to set aside some time to evaluate where you are. You can do this weekly if you’d like, but as a start, take time at least once a month to observe and reflect on your progress as it relates to your goal from earlier in this chapter.
It’s definitely a good idea to observe and reflect on any new practices that you incorporate into your life. Do this at least at the end of 3 weeks, but I often do it weekly after I incorporate something new.
You might journal about it, contemplate it, or talk with a trusted friend. But at least once a month, take time to evaluate:
• Check-in: Overall, how are you feeling physically, mentally, and spiritually?
• Success: What successes have you had?
• Evaluate: If you have introduced a new spiritual practice, how is it working for you?
• Adjust: Are you ready to add add another practice to your day? Or maybe take one away? Switch one out?
• Handle: Has anything surfaced that you need to deal with, such as limiting beliefs, challenges you didn’t know you had, negative thoughts, undermining yourself, negative people, challenging situations, etc.
Check-in
When: at least once a month
I think it’s valuable all through your life to make some time to check in with yourself to see how things are going. Some people do this yearly when they make New Year’s Resolutions. But taking time to check in and see how you’re doing doesn’t have to just happen once a year. I think it’s valuable to check in at least once a month, or even once a week.
If you haven’t heard from a friend in a while, don’t you wonder what they’re up to and how they’re doing? Look at yourself as that friend you haven’t heard from in a while. Especially helpful as you’re taking on new things, like the practices in this book.
Time time to think about (and journal) how you are feeling physically, mentally, and spiritually. If you’re on a new eating or exercise plan, how is that going? Is it helping you feel better? If you’re working on mental health challenges with a counselor, does it feel like you’re getting somewhere? And if you’re taking steps to deepen your spiritual life, how is that going?
In general, how do you feel about your life?
Successes
When: daily if possible
Take a moment to think back to last month. Can you recall any personal or professional successes you had? Maybe you completed a project at work ahead of schedule, or made an especially amazing birthday cake for your son. Perhaps you were able to finally break through a barrier you had to meditating, or were able to deeply connect with a friend you hadn’t seen in years.
Can’t remember what happened last month that was so special? You’re not alone. Most of us can’t remember our the good things we did from one week to the next, let alone from month to month. It’s easy to lose sight of our “wins,” but it’s really important to remember them. If all we focus on is our gaps (I need to do better at xyzzy) it’s easy to feel like we’ve never accomplished anything. If that’s you, please consider keeping a “Wins” or “Successes” notebook or file.
At least once a month, but I suggest daily, document any successes you had. These can be little successes (I was finally able to walk a mile in 15 minutes) or big ones (I won an award for a book I wrote last year). Include anything: professional successes, physical successes, or even spiritual success. Anything that’s a “win” for you, I want you to make a notation in your notebook.
Why is this important? It’s easy to lost sight of the things that we accomplish. For a lot of people, especially if you are coming into this with negative thought patterns already a part of you, keeping track of the things that GO RIGHT, in one place, can give you a boost when you need it. During times where you’re maybe not feeling so great about your life or achievements, you can read through your success journal and immerse yourself in all of the things you have done that have been good, all of the good things that have happened to you.
Evaluate
When: at least once a month
If you are doing any of the practices in this book, take some time at least once a month to honestly evaluate whether they are helpful for you. If something really feels off, you can dump it. But if something makes you a little uncomfortable, or you’re not quite sure about it yet, keep at it. Sometimes a little discomfort means that the practice is stretching you in ways that you hadn’t expected.
Adjust
When: as needed
Don’t be afraid to make adjustment to your practices or your goals. Perhaps as part of this work you had decided to get more physically fit and tried running 4 times a week. But after a month of doing this, you realize you truly hate running and would rather spend more time in the spin class that you really love. Go ahead, make the change!
Or you’ve dedicated six weeks to trying out both sacred word contemplation and transcendental meditation, and realize you feel more at peace with one of them than the other. It’s OK to drop one and focus on the one that is really working for you.
Sometimes you may even need to adjust your goal a bit, or change your focus. I know that when I was starting to walk this path of spirituality, I was pretty darn focused on attaining a specific vision I had set out for my life: re-creating the love and peace I found in Heaven in my life on Earth. I was very future-focused. But about 2 years into that process, I realized something. Even though I still had that same long-term vision, it wasn’t as all-consuming as it had been. I became more focused on the present moments of my day, and making them great, rather than on my long-range goal. I changed my focus to the NOW rather than staying totally focused on the future.
You can even think about whether you want to keep a goal in mind for the next period of time…maybe you want to just try several new practices and see how your life unfolds. Allow what you learned from those practices to lead you along. If you’re a planner, this may not be the most attractive course of action.
4) Continue Your Practice
Through it all, I ask that you stay committed to some kind of spiritual practice if you want to achieve more peace in your life. Remember, even people who have had profound spiritual experiences know that they have to continuously work toward maintaining the ground that they gained.
In fact after about five years of having a daily spiritual practice, I wanted to truly evaluate the kind of impact it had on my life. Being a scientist, I decided to do a little experiment on myself. I made a vow that I would stop every spiritual practice that I had been doing: the prayers, the intentions, the meditations, the visioning, the gratitude, the daily life review, all of it. I evaluated my life as it was while I was actively doing my practices, but I vowed to stop doing these things for three months. At the end of three months I would evaluate how I felt. Maybe I wouldn’t notice a difference. Maybe I would. But I wouldn’t know unless I ran the experiment.
I’ll tell you honestly that I didn’t last even a month!
By about week three of my experiment, I was beginning to feel disconnected, unfocused, a little anxious, a little worried, and honestly, lost. I had lost much of the inner peace and creativity I had so diligently worked toward over the last five years. I stopped the experiment right then and there, recommitted myself to my spirituality, and made a vow to getting back on track.
It took longer than I expected to get back to the same state of being that I had achieved before I tried my little experiment.
5) Fun and Celebration
No matter where you are in your journey through life, and on your spiritual path, I feel it’s important to have a bit of fun and celebrate your achievements. When you can, dedicate time to doing fun things, or having fun in your daily life. Celebrate your achievements and have fun as often as you can.
One of the beautiful things about going to NDE conferences is hanging around not only other NDErs, but just spiritual and curious people in general. We have fun. We laugh. We don’t take ourselves so seriously that we can’t appreciate the humor and joy in each moment.
Give yourself some credit for deciding in the first place that you want to make positive changes in your life. And I invite you to take some time right now to answer these questions
- What I consider fun:
- What are some ways I can allow more fun in my life:
- How would I ideally like to celebrate a personal win?
- What are some things I can celebrate today?
Blessings,
Nancy
Archive: Past Newsletter Issues
TODAY Show: Nancy's Interview on NBC TV's TODAY
Messages of Hope with Suzanne Giesemann: Exploring NDEs with Nancy Rynes
Article: Seven Lessons That Dying Taught Me About Truly Living (Aspire Magazine)
Article: Lives Changed by NDEs (Boulder Daily Camera)
Article: Awakening to Life(Pages 6-10, Journal of Exceptional Experiences and Psychology, Summer 2016)
Article: The Meaning of Life (Excellence Reporter)
Simply Peace Part 1
Simply Peace Part 2
Downloadable, Audio-only versions of the webinar are available on my SoundCloud site: https://soundcloud.com/nancy-rynes
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