By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light
It's been a while since I last wrote about our personal hero journeys...the sacred journey called life. Last time, we talked about preparing for your life's journey and meeting your mentors. In this article, we'll continue on with what may be the whole point of the sacred journey for many of us: learning how to handle the tests we encounter, and along the way, forging relationships with those whom we can help, and who can help us in return.
When I was a child, one of the most fascinating movies I watched again and again was the 1963 film Jason and the Argonauts. I didn't first see it until the mid-70s, over 10 years after it was originally released, but I still remember being glued to the TV set and watching it with my brothers. Today, the special effects would seem crude and campy but back then, those monsters and dragons that plagued Jason and his fellow adventurers both terrified and mesmerized me. Who can forget our hero battling that stop-action hydra, created by Ray Harryhausen? If it were me battling that hydra, I would turn and run the other way as fast as I could! Good thing I wasn't an argonaut.
But the other thing that captivated me about this film was the underlying story: the tale of a seemingly-normal guy and his friends who go on a series of adventures where they are tested and challenged to overcome what seem to be daunting obstacles. They are successful, in part, because of the allies they make along the way and what they learn during the journey.
When you're watching a movie, listening to a story, or reading an adventure novel, the most exciting, nail-biting part of the tale comes when the heroine or hero runs into one or more trying situations or "tests." You want the heroine to succeed on her quest, but in order to succeed she needs to call on everything available to her. She needs to:
- Be confident in her own innate strengths and abilities
- Learn how to rely on friends and allies for assistance
- Listen to her mentors and apply their teachings to the challenges she faces
- Understand that most people who she might have thought were "enemies" can actually be great teachers, and even allies
- And realize that the challenges she faces are allowing her the great opportunity to become more self-aware, confident, more connected to others, resilient, resourceful, and stronger
In the movie, Jason and his Argonauts are tested constantly by everything from monsters to harpies to clashing rocks and a variety of Greek dieties. Our challenges may seem mild in comparison to what heroes like Jason endure, but remember that you are the hero of your own life. Every challenge you face is an opportunity to learn, grow, become more aware, and even expand love.
You learn and grow through these challenges, even though you might not enjoy working through them. Just think about an athlete. How does a football player help his body become better at his chosen sport? He and his coaches constantly challenge him with new workouts designed to help his muscles, bones, lungs, and heart to grow and adapt. As a result, the athlete becomes stronger, faster, more resilient, and better able to succeed.
If you think about it, that pretty much sums up life. Your personal challenges can help you work through all-too-human struggles including learning to know and live your truth; how to truly love yourself and others; how to be successful on your chosen path through life; how to channel sacred, divine creativity; or even how to heal the planet. The best, most expansive life isn't reliant on your ability to avoid challenges, though. It's dependent on your ability to face each challenge, learn from it, adapt, and change how you go forward in the future. And a key component to your success is forging relationships with others who can help you succeed (allies).
You're not meant to go it alone in life, even though all-too-many of us carry that belief around like a suit of armor. Allies are people who help you along your path, and in turn you might help them as well. But you have to be strong enough to allow them to assist. You have to be willing to be vulnerable, to admit that you cannot always do it alone. Speaking for myself, this has been one of the toughest things I had to learn over the last several years. It takes courage to be vulnerable enough to open up and ask for guidance, assistance, or simply support. Our culture seems to place a lot of value on independence. "Self-made" success stories are all over the news and social media. But the real secret is that these supposedly self-made successes achieved their goals and dreams with the help of other people -- allies.
Last year, I faced some family challenges that came out of the blue. At first, I didn't want to burden others with my troubles save for a couple of my closest friends. But then the challenges became even bigger, more difficult to face alone, so I decided to allow myself to be vulnerable and confide in a Spiritual Author's Mastermind group to which I belong. It was absolutely the right decision because they not only gave me support, but shared with me their own experiences in similar situations. Allowing myself to be vulnerable helped open up to the allies I already had, but didn't recognize.
Very few people today live completely independent lives. Even golfers, who you might think of as the "lone wolves" of the athletic world, become better by working with coaches, playing with and against others, working with physiotherapists, and watching others play. The point is that your life is made better, and probably much easier, by opening yourself up to forging relationships with true allies.
And what about enemies? Enemies are a part of the hero's journey, right? In the movies and in books, absolutely. But in life, well, I'm not so sure. It all depends on your point of view.
Before my near-death experience (NDE), I did look around me and see "enemies" in almost every direction. In my mind, these were people who were deliberately out to make my life difficult (definitely a victim-thinking viewpoint) or prevent me from succeeding. This is an isolating viewpoint to carry. Prompted by the expansive awareness that came with the NDE and my subsequent self-reflection and active personal growth, I now see few, if any, real enemies in my life. Certainly not like those Jason faced! What I see when I look around are friends, allies, people from whom I can learn who might not be friends, and people who themselves are hurting, living in fear, or mired in emotional pain. It's this latter group who some might perceive as "enemies" when they lash out. But the old saying applies, "People who are hurting, hurt other people." If someone is in emotional pain, they're probably not spending a lot of time and energy being concerned about you or anyone else. Their pain consumes them, sometimes causing them to behave in ways that are hurtful to themselves or others. You don't need to give them a "pass" on their behavior.* But understanding that their behavior isn't about you can help you see them in a new light. That new light is the light of compassion.
So as you go forward on your life's sacred journey, don't forget to forge those bonds of alliance and friendship. Constantly yet gently challenge yourself to learn, grow, explore, question, and help others. In turn, allow others to assist you. If we all did this, just imagine the amazing journeys we would have together!
Blessings,
Nancy
*Nor should society give them a "pass" on their behavior. I've explored this topic at length in Awakenings from the Light.
Archive: Past Newsletter Issues
TODAY Show: Nancy's Interview on NBC TV's TODAY
Messages of Hope with Suzanne Giesemann: Exploring NDEs with Nancy Rynes
Article: Seven Lessons That Dying Taught Me About Truly Living (Aspire Magazine)
Article: Lives Changed by NDEs (Boulder Daily Camera)
Article: Awakening to Life(Pages 6-10, Journal of Exceptional Experiences and Psychology, Summer 2016)
Article: The Meaning of Life (Excellence Reporter)
Simply Peace Part 1
Simply Peace Part 2
Downloadable, Audio-only versions of the webinar are available on my SoundCloud site: https://soundcloud.com/nancy-rynes
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