With Ease and Grace

By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light
Have you ever wanted to help a friend make a positive change in his life but didn't know how, or even if, to step in?

This can feel especially challenging since we know it's not in anyone's best interests to try to make decisions for another adult. Sometimes all you can really do is pray. But what is the best way to pray, and what should you ask for?*

A few months ago, a friend who I'll call Melanie (not her real name) called me for help about her brother, John. John was in his early twenties and seemed to be going through a very rough patch in his life. Low self-esteem and depression haunted him and to Melanie, it looked like his life was taking a very dark turn.

Melanie and I knew that at this point, there was little we could do to "force" John onto a brighter path. She vowed to continue encouraging her brother to seek psychotherapy but we both wanted to do more for him, something spiritually-based. So we prayed. We asked Spirit to bring the best and highest good into John's life. While that seemed like a helpful, basic prayer, I wondered if there was something more we could do.

I know from my own NDE and life experiences that it's unwise and unhealthy to try to make decisions for another responsible adult. Sure, if John was in immediate danger, Melanie would have had cause to step in. But outside of crisis situations, it's disempowering and plain wrong to try to control, manipulate, or steer another adult into a decision that you and you alone believe is best for him. Each person is on his or her own life path and there is no way you or I can know what decision is truly right for another adult. If John were to ask for help or advice, I certainly would have given it. But he didn't. He kept to himself and refused to confide in his sister.

Feeling that there might still be something more we could do to help John, I called my friend Ken Elliott. Ken is an expert at using the power of visualization to help people achieve their goals.

I explained to Ken that I knew I couldn't use visualization to make someone else change. Sure, I could pray and visualize John working through his darknesses, but would be more powerful coming from John himself.

I explained to Ken that we had tried praying, "Spirit, may the best and highest good be done in John's life." Ken's insight into that prayer turned out to be almost magical. He said, "...with ease and grace. Make sure you specify that the best and highest good be done in his life with ease and grace. We want this to be as easy as possible on John."

Wow, something really clicked for me. I definitely didn't want John to experience something harsh that would come and turn his life around. I wanted whatever unfolded to be as easy and graceful for him as possible.

So Melanie and I began praying, "Spirit, may the best and highest good be done in John's life, with ease and grace." I also added some visualization of John with a smile on his face and loving life, just as a little bit of a spiritual boost.

It worked.

A week later, Melanie and I had set up a time to have a serious but loving conversation with John. We wanted to tell him that we cared and were prepared to do whatever was necessary in order to help him work through this rough patch. Melanie knew her brother well and expected a lot of pushback, even some loud arguments. And it wouldn't have surprised her for John to storm off. But we'd been using "with ease and grace" for a week while visualizing the best outcome possible, so I secretly hoped things would be different this time.

In the first few minutes of the conversation John became a little defensive, but to Melanie's shock he quickly regained control and thoughtfully listened to what his sister had to say. This was so unlike his normal personality that later, Melanie said it was as if there was some imposter sitting in place of her brother. John continued to listen as Melanie explained her concerns and gave him a few options they could pursue to get him some help. Soon, John's spirits visibly lifted and he started to seem truly excited about one of the plans his sister had presented to him. By the end of the evening, John and Melanie were excitedly planning out the next steps in helping him take control of his life again. He was laughing too, and telling funny stories about the family. Yes, something definitely shifted for him that evening.

Maybe it was simply the care and compassion Melanie showed to her brother that did the trick, but I think there was something else at work too. Helping John choose a path out of his darkness was much easier and more graceful than either Melanie or I could have dreamed. Our concerns that he might start an argument or storm off simply dissolved away. Instead, the entire evening's conversation was so easy that in hindsight, our concerns were unfounded.

John continues to do well. Although he still has a long road ahead of him, his path is brighter than it has been in over six months.

So next time you're praying for the best and highest good to be done in your life or a friend's, remember to add, "with ease and grace," and let me know if it helps things go more smoothly.

I wish you heavenly and earthly love,


*If you or your friend are suffering from depression, anxiety, or any other emotional/mental health issues, please seek the help of a trained therapist or psychologist in addition to using prayer. There are many different treatment options for emotional and mental health challenges. Some therapists also take on pro-bono (free or reduced cost) work as a part of their practice. You're worth the investment!

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Bio: Nancy Rynes is a speaker, artist, and author of "Awakenings from the Light" (available from Amazon.com). Nancy's books and workshops teach you how to bring a little bit of Heaven to your life on Earth. She divides her time between Seattle, Washington and Tucson, AZ. Check out her website at NancyRynes.com 
Copyright © 2018 Nancy Rynes, All rights reserved.