"Heaven Saved My Life" - a Story of Divine Intervention

By Nancy Rynes, author of Awakenings from the Light
Have you ever been in a desperate place in your life and felt you had nowhere to turn? Did you ever lose hope of a way out, or that things could be better?

Feeling lost and alone is a terrible thing at any time in our lives but especially after the birth of a child. Paula*, a reader of Awakenings from the Light, recently shared with me a miraculous story of Heavenly intervention during a time in her life when things seemed very dark and desperate. No, this story isn't graphic and YES it does have a happy ending :-)

(Note: If you are depressed or in a crisis, please DO get the help you so deserve. In the USA, phone 9-1-1 or 1-800-273-8255)

In Paula's words:
Life was going along pretty well while I was pregnant with my first child. My husband and I had been together over seven years and our relationship was fairly strong. While we were not strictly religious, we went to services a few times a month, had similar beliefs, and overall felt we were on solid spiritual ground. We were excited to welcome our first child, Aiden, into our lives one spring morning fourteen years ago.

Aiden came into the world one fist raised over his head as if he were announcing, "Watch out world, here I come!" Delivery felt long and challenging but we were happy to see that Aiden was healthy. Soon enough, we took him home.

Within days of going home the real challenges began. And no, I'm not talking about the challenges all parents face with a newborn.

Aiden was healthy but we soon realized that I was not. Within a few weeks of his birth, my body began to lose its ability to fall asleep - at all. It's not that Aiden kept me awake (he slept soundly for 4-5 hours at a time), or that James and I didn't have enough help at home (we had our parents and aunties coming over regularly to lend their support), my body seemed completely unable to fall asleep no matter what we tried. As a last resort, my doctor prescribed sleeping pills, but they didn't help either.

To top it off, I was losing large amounts of weight so quickly, even while eating like a horse, that my doctor expressed serious concerns for my health. After many blood tests and evaluations, he was no closer to figuring out an underlying medical cause.

We began to notice that my mental state was becoming increasingly irritable, irrational, and anxious. I felt as though my thinking and emotions were mired in a thick fog, and sometimes it seemed like I wasn't in control of my own body anymore. There were times when it felt as if my real "Paula-self" was shunted off to the side and some other person was living my life for me.












The doctor then told me that I was "depressed" and prescribed anti-depressants. DEPRESSED!? I explained to him that I had never been depressed a day in my life. Why now when I should be happy and enjoying being a mom for the first time? He replied that it was postpartum depression (PPD), a relatively common condition but the cause was unknown. He insisted that the pills would help and sent me home.

The anti-depressant didn't work they way he thought it would. For the first few weeks it did help me sleep 1-2 hours a night, but I had no relief from my anxiety, isolation, mental fog, and desperation. To make matters worse, after being on it for a few weeks I was back to zero sleep. James was beside himself with concern. He wanted to help but had no idea what more he could do. My "Mr. Fix-it" could't fix this problem which caused him to feel helpless and afraid. My feelings of isolation increased when my parents and other members of my family heard the diagnosis of "depression" and told me to "just snap out of it," as if I somehow chose to be this way and could turn it off like a light!

I called psychotherapists and they referred me back to my physician for PPD issues. Great...I was getting the runaround. No one understood, some didn't care, and no one seemed to be able to help or offer a path to healing.

One early morning a few weeks later, feeling desperate after yet another completely sleepless night, the thought came to me to just finish it all, now. I didn't want to burden my family with whatever was causing this nightmare any longer, and I could not see a way out of this dark, foggy, hellish existence.

Never in a million years would I have even dreamed to be contemplating ending my life. My belief was that it was up to God to figure out when my life was done - not me. Yet here I was, "convinced" that it was the only way out. (Looking back I realize that my inability to sleep for weeks on end caused me to think of taking my life as a valid "way out." Now that I am healthy again I realize it is NOT a valid way out and would urge anyone faced with depression to gather your strength and be adamant about getting help. Today there are treatments for PPD, postpartum thyroiditis, and related conditions and they DO work, so be insistent with your family and health care providers on finding a real solution.)

Quietly, while my husband and baby were asleep, I gathered everything I would need and then went outside to do what I had set out to do. Just as I was about to carry through with my plan I heard a loud, booming, male-sounding voice say, "STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND CALL YOUR FRIEND LAURA!"

Who was that? I looked around but didn't see another person! The voice did not belong to my husband or anyone I knew, and we lived far enough away from the nearest neighbor that it could not have been any of them. Besides, none of my neighbors knew about my friend Laura anyway.

I tried to ignore the voice and went back to following through on my plan. Once again the voice came, even more insistent this time, "STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND CALL LAURA NOW!!!"

Shaking, I complied. At this point I figured it must be God yelling at me and I was scared to ignore Him! I had never had any kind of direct intervention from Heaven before, but wow, this seemed to qualify as a real voice from Spirit. I ran back into the house, woke James and called my friend Laura. She lived relatively close to us and arrived within twenty minutes. Only when they were both with me in the living room did I explain what happened. Both James and Laura looked stunned and shaken but, to their credit, stepped in and formulated a plan to get me the help I needed. Neither had realized that things were quite this bad for me because back then I was one of those who preferred to suffer in silence. Once they fully understood how terrible things were for me, they spearheaded the effort to get me the right treatment.

Laura helped me find the right doctor (an endocrinologist) who ran more tests and diagnosed me with severe postpartum thyroiditis . In my case, the condition was treatable and relatively soon I was sleeping again and slowly beginning to come out of my mental fog. I also cleaned up my diet and began a regular exercise program that I maintain, even today. By Aiden's first birthday I finally felt like normal, although I still have ongoing, minor (but manageable) thyroid issues.

Aiden is now an active teenager who doesn't fully realize how close he came to growing up without a mom. Without the voice from Heaven, that likely would have been his fate. My family feels more committed than ever to Spirit, and to volunteering to help others who need a hand. I am grateful to God, my husband, and my friend Laura for carrying me through my dark times and giving me a chance to live a good life.
Paula's story of Heavenly intervention moved me so much that I wanted to share it with all of you. As you can see, Spirit wanted her to live a full life so It stepped in to make it clear that what she was about to do was not OK. If you have read "Awakenings from the Light", you know that during my NDE I was told that our lives as humans are precious and wonderful. This story is a reminder that life is precious and, with help, dark times can be transformed to something more loving and light-filled.

Again, if you are struggling or in a crisis please speak up. Tell family or friends. Call a physician or a psychologist. Reach out for help (In the USA, phone 9-1-1 or 1-800-273-8255).

I wish you heavenly (and earthly) love.

Blessings,

Nancy